Filter

I feel like I've had a filter in front of my face for the last 2 days. Everything looks so fuzzy and I keep seeing two of everything. One would think that I've had a 48 hour bender but no. Friday started out with a doctor's appointment, followed by taking my mom to work, a haircut, then getting called in to work early. I wouldn't have gone if I didn't already have to be there later that evening. Of course within the first hour there was a bit of bullshit. This idiot bartender thought he could once again pull a fast one. This time my boss was partially on my side so it allowed me to do my job. Who the hell does he think he is? I'm not sure if he knows this but you can't do my job and yours at the same time. You don't have super powers and if your that strapped for cash then get another fucking job and stop trying to take my money!!! The evening quickly ended after the only party I had left and an old friend walked through the door. Grievances and concerns were shared and then back to pretending like it never happened. I remember when a text would be answered in a matter of minutes and now they are seldom returned. I think it's time I surround myself with people that are capable of communicating in real time.

Saturday was filled with less questions and more answers. My dad finally figured out why he smokes so much! He has idle time. I suggested looking for a new hobby but he gave me a look so instead I asked him for a ride to the sprint store to get my phone back on track. I was sent a text message from June 4, 2018. Unfortunately, I didn't get a message from the future telling me how my life is. I wonder if I'm still broke? I do know, I got the night off so I headed to my watering hole and was bored out of my mind! 1 hour, 2 beers, and no interesting conversations lead to me back at home with a plate of my sister's cooking. It was good! Then off to bed!

I was supposed to have a photoshoot today! But overcast got in the way...yet again. If I had money, I would have had an awesome lighting system that wouldn't require me to use natural lighting. But I don't so I'm stuck. I live in one of the sunniest places and of course on the day I choose to do some work I get stuck on the couch watching 'A Haunting' with my sister until the Golden Globes started.

Now, I'm in my room trying to reacquaint myself with some education that I shouldn't have forgotten. I still have so much to learn and feel like I have no time. Inside, I'm in a rush wanting to get to my destination but on the outside I'm stuck. My feet are planted in the ground and I can't move. I desperately want to move but I'm frozen. How do I get my feet up and moving? How do I get out of my own way? I'm having such a hard time letting go of the fear.

I'm still broke...$100...$21,900 to go